Peter Cavanaugh

Summer of Trump-Putin leaves him dreaming about alternative universe

Russian President Vladimir Putin, right, and U.S. President Donald Trump give a joint news conference at the Presidential Palace in Helsinki, Finland, on Monday, July 16, 2018. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)
Russian President Vladimir Putin, right, and U.S. President Donald Trump give a joint news conference at the Presidential Palace in Helsinki, Finland, on Monday, July 16, 2018. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais) AP

“Hear a funky noise? That’s the tightening of the screws.”

“Doom and Gloom” – The Rolling Stones (2012)

Smoke billows against a red setting sun.

There is chaotic silence.

We are far past overload.

The shame of Helsinki yields to servile surrender as our Comrade-in-Chief invites his killer to the Capitol. Trump may catch kids, but Putin burns them alive with fire from the sky. We can’t look away.

Our Fourth Congressional District Representative and Eager Enabler Tom “Glad for Vlad” McClintock continues whining about the federal deficit, but only after adding hundreds of billions in borrowed debt with new tax breaks for rich old friends. Only makers should be takers.

Maria Butina, an active member of the NRA (“Naughty Russian Agents”) has been arrested and is being held without bail. According to the FBI, the 29-year-old Butina tried to develop secret back channels with American politicians that could “penetrate the U.S. national decision-making apparatus to advance the agenda of the Russian Federation.” Ms. Butina is said to have casually exchanged personal familiarities with much older men in pursuing her mission for Moscow. All in a day’s work. Maria has friends in high places.

Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov almost immediately demanded that Secretary of State Mike Pompeo release Butina. You’d think Mike had her tied up in his office or something. Rumors ran rampant. Maria remained in a Washington jail cell under federal custody – judged a flight risk.

You might remember Sergei from his temporarily secret White House visit to the Oval Office on May 10 of last year, the day after Trump fired FBI Director James Comey. When Lavrov dropped in on Donny, accompanied by Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak and various aides, they laughed and lounged about. That’s when Mister Mouth said that firing Comey had relieved “a great pressure – because of Russia. That’s been taken off.” The president also observed that Comey “was crazy, a real nut job – I’m not under investigation.”

Trump then proceeded to spill the beans about certain top-secret matters, boasting that he had “great intel.” We are aware of this thanks to Russian media coverage. No members of the American press were allowed in the room or even knew about it. Not even Fox News.

We’re once again dependent on Russian sources for clues as to what took place in Finland – possibly many dark secrets were whispered despite 24 hours of daylight.

Trump and Putin met alone and conversed for more than two hours, accompanied only by official interpreters. Although the Russians probably recorded the whole thing, our side has no idea as to what was discussed, negotiated or, most critically, agreed upon.

Trump seemed overjoyed during a subsequent news conference that Putin had volunteered to help investigate himself. Yes, Vladimir would have his intelligence forces ask Russian officials charged with felonious hacking what they were up to. Would one Russian not speak the truth to another? Naturally, Vlad would also need to formally interview certain Americans, including a former U.S. ambassador to Russia, about vital matters of serious concern. Speak loudly into this rat cage, Mr. McFaul.

I have a dream:

Trump turns out to be an ultimate chess player, aligned with Robert Mueller all along against the Russian menace. Sealed indictments are revealed. Federal marshals storm the Ilyushin II-96-300 PU as soon as it touches down at Joint Air Base Andrews, arresting Putin on the spot and dragging him away in chains. He is charged and tried for espionage, war crimes, election tampering and poor English. He’s found guilty, stir-fried, then traded to China for Chicken Chow Mein.

Who knew?

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