Wah wah wah.
Our big baby-in-chief is finally getting spanked.
First it was those mean judges putting a hold on his executive orders to “protect our borders.”
Then that Chinese president made him personally sign a formal statement admitting there is only “One China” after all, and insisting that this personal guarantee be hand-delivered to the Chinese Embassy in Washington before any “I’m sorry” phone call might be received. It was. He phoned. Apology accepted. For now. Too bad, Taiwan.
It was tough enough that baby’s promise to “repeal and replace” Obamacare quicker than you can say “Big League” must be put off a year, or two, or three, but can you imagine having to back away from moving the U.S. Embassy in Israel from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem only days before Benjamin Nut and Yahoo comes calling? Oy vey.
This followed that mess with Kellyanne Convict defending Ivanka’s getting dumped by Nordstrom (Kmart and Sears have since followed suit) and National Security Adviser Mike “Loose Lips” Flynn getting much cozier with the Russians than previously known. Or admitted. Dasvidaniya. He stepped down Monday.
Now the dishonest press is making fun when Alec Baldwin’s much less appealing lookalike reports that “busloads of people from Massachusetts” were sent into New Hampshire to fraudulently vote against him and former Senator Kelly Ayotte. That’s in addition to the three to five million “illegals” - all of whom voted for Hillary Clinton - which is why she won the popular vote, which he would have done if he’d really wanted to.
Many of the New England Patriots, winners of what well might have been the greatest Super Bowl in football history, aren’t going to come see him in the White House. The game’s MVP and most winning quarterback in NFL history, baby’s buddy Tom Brady? Even Tom’s got better things to do.
His Supreme Court nominee, Neil Gorsuch, is telling the world that referring to the judicial branch in a disparaging way seems “disheartening” and “demoralizing.”
Conservative Republicans are loudly voicing shock and awe that last weekend’s presidential hosting of the Japanese Prime Minister’s “Making Golf Great Again” stay at Trump-owned Mar-a-Lago, now Donald-designated as the “Winter White House,” will cost taxpayers approximately $3 million. That’s $3 million for one weekend. Those caddies need tips.
Saturday’s festivities concluded with a lovely salute from North Korean leader Kim Jong-un in the form of a provocative intermediate-range ballistic missile test tracked for over 300 miles across North Korea and into the Sea of Japan, a bit short of the island itself. No crash. Splish-splash.
Normally all this would be enough to drive a man to think.
But Baby is a different kind of infant. That’s what got him elected.
A hastily convened back porch response to Kim’s surprise in the skies concluded with more Trump trash talk while Melania looked on with admiration and the Shinzo Abes stood with polite forbearance. A guest must seem impressed.
Stressing that “only a president” knows how dangerous the world really is, the five-time Vietnam era draft dodger flaunted his heroic concern for the safety and well-being of all fellow Americans ready for rock and rule. He’s all about super security. The ultimate protector knows who loves us and who does not. His heart is true. His mind is clear. After all, unlike John McCain, Donald J. Trump was never captured by the enemy.
Each time Baby hesitatingly recites obviously unfamiliar words from handy twin teleprompters – clumsily shifting left and right in formal lurch – it is becoming more and more painfully evident that most of the time he doesn’t have the vaguest idea what he’s talking about, nor the intellect or interest in doing otherwise. It’s all just a show.
Not even four weeks in, serious murmurs of inevitable impeachment are already blowing in the wind from sea to shining sea. Four years? Even die-hard supporters are seriously wondering where we’re going and how long it will take to get there, assuming there’s a “there” to reach. How much time will pass before promised jobs, premium pay and other false prophesies of a greater tomorrow are replaced by dire disappointment and deeper divisions?
Hold fast to your playbills and hang on tight.
Act one has just begun.