Following the election of my fantasy candidate, President Uncle Sam delivers his inaugural address:
"With humble thanks to our merciful God and the American people, I accept the office of president of these United States. I assure you that I will work for you with every ounce of my being to be an honest and sincere steward of your trust, so help me God.
I ask all members of congress to approach their individual responsibilities in the same manner. I will call an immediate joint session of congress and will tell them, 'Ladies and gentlemen of Congress, roll up your sleeves because we came to Washington to work.' I will request each of them to submit to my desk, within 10 days, the three federal regulations most restrictive to the lives and success of their constituents. I will release to the press the names of those members of congress who wish to not participate. The voters who put them in office will have to decide what to do with them. We the people begin now the task to fix what's broken in Washington.
I will remove the names and locations of those submissions and deliver the noted regulations to the Senate Majority Leader and the Speaker of the House. They will determine the top three of all regulations submitted and congress will decide, within 30 days whether to support, abolish or suspend those regulations. We will continue this process until our nation is free to safely pursue its God given life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.
We will begin immediately to establish a new Federal tax system which will include a tiered tax rate of five to 15%. Every American will support the security and rewards of being a citizen. We will not tax the American dream. Home ownership, children, education and medical care will be recognized as parts of that dream and will receive credit for self-reliance. There will be a 2% national sales tax and corporate tax rates will be 18%.
Our national security is of the utmost importance. We will secure our southern border and defend it. We will also encourage the United Nations to relocate. There will be no treaties signed which supersede the Constitution of the United States of America. The U.S. dollar will be strengthened to the degree that it is no longer an IOU.
It is necessary that our military remain the strongest in the world. Alexander Hamilton may have said it best when he said, "Let us recollect that peace or war will not always be left to our option; that however moderate or unambitious we may be, we cannot count upon the moderation, or hope to extinguish the ambition of others."
James Madison wrote to the Dey of Algiers in 1816, and said, "It is a principle incorporated into the settled policy of America, that as peace is better than war, war is better than tribute."
Our veterans will receive the best care our nation has to offer.
We will draft an amendment to our Constitution to limit each member of congress to two consecutive terms. All laws passed by congress will apply to all federal employees and elected officials. Elected office is not a place to find a career or build a power base with lobbyists.
Campaign reform will reduce contributions to individual voters only, which will cripple powerful lobbies, and some form of work will be required to receive federal welfare.
Education and medical care is not a responsibility of the federal government. We will work to repeal all federal laws and regulations restricting inter-state commerce and individual states will determine the needs of their respective citizens and chart the best course to obtain intellectual excellence and health care. The exception to this is medical care for our veterans.
I will be hosting a monthly press conference to keep our citizens and the press appraised of our success and struggles. I will not hesitate to name names and hold everyone in the employment of our nation accountable for their actions or lack of action.
We have three branches of government; the executive, legislative and judicial. These were wisely put into place to cross-check the efforts of one another. We demand that each branch fulfill its obligations to the American people.
Thank you once again for the faith you have placed in me. God bless you one and all and may God bless the United States of America.
Vote for America ... Nov. 6.