I'm an avid NFL fan. My team has won five Super Bowls. A current craze is the Fantasy Football League. While it's fun, it doesn't have any affect on any team's record. Here's my fantasy candidate for president of The United States of America and his campaign speech:
Hello America -- My name is Uncle Sam and I want to be your president. I don't talk out of both sides of my mouth. What I say is what I believe. I swear on the word of our Creator who, through the wisdom of our founding fathers, brought forth our nation.
Our nation was consecrated with the blood of thousands of the greatest American patriots who ever lived. Those who died for the birth of our nation never tasted the freedom they died for. We have a history of being a nation eager to roll up our sleeves and pull on our boots and "by God" make and keep our nation strong. We're becoming a nation of tank tops and flip flops. There are few shirt sleeves to roll up or boot straps left to pull up.
Almost 100 years ago, our public schools, at the direction of our government, quit teaching the ever-lasting principles of honor, integrity, discipline, morality and American history. We are becoming a nation of technologically selfish, rudderless, faithless and almost cowardly isolated individuals. We were once a proud and united nation, united in the knowledge that there is a Creator and he has blessed this nation with "certain inalienable rights." Rights, given by our Creator, that no government can legislate for or against.
Our current government is saying "we need to compromise and work on solutions." That seldom works because right does not compromise with wrong. Candidates for office say we have to work on this or that, compromise and get along. Rubbish. We need to get back to the business of liberty and justice for all. No elected official should acquiesce to mediocrity. Without a belief in our founding principles we have nothing but ourselves to believe in. The past 60 years have proved that the belief in government is failure.
I'll tell you right now that as commander in chief I won't take a knife to a gun fight. When a bunch of radical idiots drag the bodies of our soldiers through their streets, that city will no long exist within 48 hours. They will no longer mess with the United States of America. We have God-given capabilities for a reason and we will use them to preserve our nation.
I will not capitulate our strength with any other power on earth. I will preserve the sanctity and security of America and all of her citizens over the misguided beliefs of any and all radical militants. I will work with the Mexican government to address the invasion of illegal drugs and people into our country. If the Mexican government does not get serious, we will act to secure our sovereignty by all means at our disposal, period. We have proven this method to be effective and we will not lessen our resolve.
In America, we help the helpless, we do not enable the shiftless. Any and all regulations that impede the success of America will be abolished. Your government will no longer favor any individual or business over another. There will be justice for all Americans.
Taxes will no longer be punitive and will be used to ensure the security of our nation. The federal government will no longer be involved in any legislation regarding education or health care which are the responsibility of states.
I am not the least bit interested in the black vote, the Hispanic or Latino vote, the gay vote, the union vote or any factional vote. I am asking for the American vote. If you want to be an American, BE an American. If you believe in America and want the right to live in liberty with the pursuit of happiness, freely given by our Creator, then I want your vote.
I am pursuing equality for all Americans. Your ethnic heritage is just that, your heritage. Your future and success is being united in the rights that our patriots have died for, your freedom to be American.
God bless you and may God bless the United States of America.
My next column will detail exactly what President Uncle Sam will do.