Subscribe
to the E-Star!

Helping Hands

Free services and products at Helping Hands Pregnancy and Parenting Center helps parents of all ages

Carmen George

(Updated: Thursday, August 18, 2011, 12:00 AM)

For many parents and parents-to-be Helping Hands Pregnancy and Parenting Center Inc. in Oakhurst is more than a resource. The staff there have become like family.

The center, which provides all free services and products -- including classes, baby and toddler clothes, diapers and confidential pregnancy tests -- is a meeting place for many, from those preparing for a first child to older couples seeking additional information.

And for some, like one pregnant Mountain Area 16-year-old, Helping Hands is one of the few places she can go for help.

The young woman, who preferred to remain unnamed, said her mother disapproves of her pregnancy and hasn't helped her prepare for the birth of her son, due Christmas day. To learn all she and her boyfriend can about the development of their baby, giving birth and being good parents, the couple have been going to Helping Hands' executive director Jill Althizer and center director Kenya Deto.

She said Deto and Althizer are friendly and open, and she can talk to them about anything.

Unfortunately that's often not the attitude around town.

Walking into grocery stores is usually the worst, she said. Seeing her pregnant belly, many people make unkind comments under their breath and look at her disapprovingly. She knows of at least two other young, pregnant mothers that experience similar situations frequently.

She hopes the community at-large takes on the attitude of those at Helping Hands -- compassion instead of segregation -- to help her and other young mothers bring their babies into the world in the best way possible.

"Whether you're 16 or 17 like us, or 30 like other people, we're going through the same exact things, just a little bit earlier," said her 17-year-old boyfriend, who also preferred to remain unnamed. "We just need a little more help than other people maybe."

"We're all made the same," said the teenage mother-to-be. "And shouldn't be treated any different."

The couple have been attending free weekly "parents-to-be" classes at the center. They hope more young parents hear about Helping Hands and know there is a place to go in the mountains for help.

The parenting and parents-to-be classes are taught by Deto, Althizer or one of nine volunteers, all trained and monitored by CareNet, with pregnancy centers under their wings nation-wide. After each class, including a short video and discussion, also available in Spanish, clients are given homework. Upon completion, they earn "baby bucks," money to purchase diapers, baby supplies and new and used baby and toddler clothes at the Helping Hands' Baby Boutique.

Helping Hands -- 40356 Oak Park Way, Suite A, off Highway 49 in Oakhurst -- is open 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday through Thursday.

"As teen parents, we hope he (their unborn son) gets just as much from us as parents having a child at the right time," said the young father-to-be, who worked extra hours during his summer break to save up for his little boy. "Helping Hands has been very helpful for us the entire time. We just hope we can give our son a great life, the best we can for him."

The young couple is one of many touched by the generosity of those at the center, going into its 13th year.

Helping Hands received 702 visits last year, with 73 clients attending parenting classes, 22 attending birthing classes, and 100 coming in for pregnancy tests, Althizer said. The center also offers birthing classes, purity classes (abstinence education), parenting classes for single mothers and fathers, marriage counseling information, Bible studies, and general information about sexually transmitted diseases, although the center is not a medical facility and cannot treat clients. Helping Hands also presents abstinence information to any interested church youth group or school.

"We're here to help and we're willing to be flexible," Deto said. "We're willing to help meet their needs in whatever way we can."

Helping Hands is funded by community donations and local fundraisers. Because the Christian-based nonprofit supports abstinence from sex until marriage and doesn't offer birth control products or information, the center is ineligible for most grant money, Althizer said.

And while Helping Hands is a Christian ministry, they aren't "preachy," said 42-year-old Chris Poffenberger of Coarsegold, who attended parents-to-be classes with his wife Trisha.

Beyond a closing prayer if clients are comfortable with one, religion isn't woven into classes. Although Helping Hands is pro-life, they do things like post-abortion Bible studies.

"They really do love the people and they don't force anything on anyone," Chris said. "You can see the Holy Spirit working through them and you get knowledge along with a loving support system."

The Poffenberger's first child, daughter Tayley Kaydee-Audrey, was born July 29. In the same Clovis hospital five hours apart, another Helping Hands couple, 20-year-old Amanda Coll of Raymond and her boyfriend Erik Ramos, also welcomed their first child into the world, daughter Melody Lynn Ramos.

The new parents brought their baby girls into Helping Hands last week for the first time to meet Deto and Althizer.

"When clients share their lives with us and when you see the good things happening to them, that's exciting," Althizer said. "We feel really privileged to be here and we love what we do."

"It's amazing," said Coll of becoming a mother. "I can't even describe it because words can't even explain how important she is to me; it really changes your whole life. I learned a lot at Helping Hands, everything from the way you hold the baby to breast feeding techniques. I'll definitely go back to take infant classes and continue to earn Baby Bucks and then donate Melody's old clothes there later."

Trisha said Helping Hands helped further their knowledge to be fully ready for Tayley, including baby safety information and the importance of facial expressions and making eye contact with their baby girl -- crucial to how a child bonds and communicates with their parents.

"I just cant believe she's mine, she's just so sweet," said Trisha of their daughter Tayley. "Chris is just smitten with her. After she was born he didn't leave her side for three days -- they are like two peas in a pod. We're in love again."

Helping Hands volunteer Bob Celum said it's a good feeling to know he and other volunteers had a small part in getting families off to a good start.

"Overall our community is a much better community for having Helping Hands here," Celum said. "It's a great ministry for moms and dads. It meets their needs on various levels, from teenagers out of high school with an unexpected situation on their hands to older women with children."

"It makes me wish I had these kinds of classes when my daughter was born," said Coarsegold resident Johanna Gandee, a Helping Hands client and mother of two in her 40s. "She was a very fussy baby and I didn't know how to handle it. For young teen moms I think it provides support and it's also very informative on the development of the unborn baby as well. I'm older, and for me, it's just been very helpful to learn different types of discipline. It gives you new ideas and a fresh perspective."

Katrina Nelson, 33, a mother of four from Coarsegold, said every parent can get tips about how to be a better parent, and that every town should have a Helping Hands.

"I just wish more people knew about it," Nelson said. "This place is a blessing."

"Everyone that works here I consider family," said Nelson's 11-year-old daughter Kayleen. "They've done a lot for us."

For more information about available Helping Hands classes and services, contact the center at (559) 642-2229 or (559) 641-6800.

To help raise money for Helping Hands, a fundraiser banquet will be held at 6:15 p.m., Oct. 14 at the Oakhurst Evangelical Free Church, including guest speaker Gianna Jessen, a survivor of a saline abortion. Reservations required. Jessen, born with cerebral palsy, wrote a book "Gianna: Aborted...And lived to tell about it," and has been interviewed by Fox News.