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Traveling's not easy anymore

A Senior View

Ed Lyons

(Updated: Thursday, July 22, 2010, 5:15 PM)

Well, I'm back. I went to Missouri to see my granddaughters.

Some readers might remember the column I wrote on my first trip to that faraway place. We went by plane and I wrote about the trauma of it all.

You can pretty well count on the bad portion of any trip being your time with the airlines. I remember the seats were so close together that I left teeth marks on my knees. Surely, the baggage had better accommodations. If only there was a way to know where the baggage would end up.

Then there's the general air of malevolence that permeates the entire airline experience. Nobody trusts anybody, least of all anyone connected to the airline or airport security, all of whom consider you a potential terrorist.

You must not make eye contact with anyone or ask anyone any questions regarding the airplane. Do not attempt to take off your shoes and if you should have to use the lavatory you'd be better off to leave the door open. Oh, by the way, while they did not charge me extra for the use of this facility at the time, they're probably considering it. So much for "flying the friendly skies."

Last year we decided to take the train to the same destination. It was a lot slower, but it had a lot more room and would have been a vast improvement in travel comfort had it not been for the fact that the restrooms plugged up the first day, the prices charged for micro-waved food was about five times what it should be and as far as passenger courtesy and care was concerned, the baggage made out much better...again.

So, this year we took the bus. For starters, it was half the fare of the train, which was half the fare of the plane, however, the seating was utterly devoid of any consideration of passenger comfort. It would have involved only four additional hours of travel time had there not been one six-hour layover and two more two-hour layovers en route. At least the bus drivers were nice.

And there you have it, a micro-waved view of the American travel scene, or at least my "view" of it. Conclusion? Next year the girls are coming to us.

Grandpa says: "Negative thinking never got nobody nothing."