Subscribe
to the E-Star!

Grandpa-ing is good

A Senior View

Ed Lyons

(Updated: Thursday, February 25, 2010, 1:25 PM)

As you grow older, you find that looking back is taking up more of your time than looking forward. Memories take the place of fantasies and, more and more, you'll hear the question...What have you enjoyed most in your life?

My answer is -- being a grandpa. No doubt about it, grandpa-ing is good.

I am an expert grandpa. Let me tell you what goes into the making of a good one: First, you gotta be real -- no phoney Ho Ho Ho Santa Claus stuff. Today's grandchildren see through anything that's not real. They want kisses. They want unending hugs. They want attention. They figure that since mom and dad are busy earning a living, they got you, this old guy, to give them everything their parents don't have time for.

You have to get rid of the word "no." No is something for the parents to deal with. Don't say it. Don't even think it. Bribery can be elevated to an art form. So get busy -- spoil them.

Don't take sides in a family argument -- you don't have to. In the long run, both sides will cater to the "neutral zone." If you do it right you could be another Wizard of Oz.

When the grandchildren are in the doghouse, get in there with them. When the storm is over you can all emerge, together, a team that has survived, welded into a force to be dealt with. Another lesson taught. God, I'm good.

"Wait a minute," you say. "What's the incentive? What's in it for the old man?"

Well, get comfortable and I'll tell you. I'll use, as an example, my youngest, Jessie Fellhauer. A young beauty who dominates my life with her big, brown eyes and the easy grace with which she lets everyone know just whose grandpa I am. She makes me know she loves me. She doesn't just sit on my lap -- we grow together -- our hearts just inches apart -- our souls welded together.

When we cross the street, I feel her tiny hand inside mine. It's like holding a little bird. I know that she knows that she is safe. Her hand flutters as she chirps away about her concerns of the day and my heart melts a little more.

It'll be easy for me to keep Jessie uppermost in my mind for the remainder of my life, so I put most of my effort into trying to be someone she won't forget.

I want to be remembered by her, not as a veteran of wars, not as a columnist for a newspaper, but as a Grandpa.

Grandpa says: "And just when I began to think I could go no higher -- I became a great-grandpa. Good Lord...how great can I get?" .