Is the next 'idol' in your house?

Parent Connection

By Bryan Greeson

(Updated: Wednesday, April 16, 2008, 6:04 PM)

Yes, I watch American Idol. My dear wife, Julia is a big fan, and now that we live in a mostly empty nest, I have put some thought into this.

It just wouldn't be right for me to find something else to do, while she is curled up on the couch with puppy in her lap, eyes glued to FOX TV. I say mostly empty nest because my wife and two darling daughters all have cells in hand during Idol, and man can they text. A veteran stenographer would be proud.

Perhaps most folks like to see young people with real talent get their shot at fame in the music world. Note I say real talent. The early auditions lead me to believe that not only does the absurd make for good ratings, but that there are some young people these days who are completely out of tune when it comes to their dreams of fame and fortune.

I know I have no talent when it comes to singing. Someone in these hopefuls' lives just didn't tell them the truth.

The truth. I am writing today to speak bluntly to today's millennium parents about this fascination (or obsession) that many young people have with fame. This need to be famous may simply be becoming popular within the peer group, getting voted as the king or queen of the prom, the drive to always be chosen most valuable player, or even by taking a true talent to the next level-like an audition for American Idol. Not all bad things if realistic and kept in perspective.

Then there is the ugly side of this desire for fame. Earlier this month, eight teens are arrested for allegedly videotaping an attack on another teen. Some are speculating that the incident was at least partially motivated by the desire to post the video on YouTube, a popular video-sharing Web site.

Does this alarm you as a mom or dad? Personally, in our present culture where I open my morning paper to read about a group of third graders allegedly plotting to attack their teacher and bringing the goods into school to do so, nothing surprises me anymore.

And my point is that nothing should surprise you either, mom and dad.

What to do? Get with it. You are living in a culture in which you can no longer ignore what is going on. Facebook, MySpace and YouTube are not bad Web sites in and of themselves.

But parents need to realize that their kids don't have to be auditioning for American Idol in order to get fixated upon fame and popularity. It can be happening under your own roof.

Keep tabs on your children or teens' need for popularity or fame, and talk with them. A balance of keeping tabs on your kids and maintaining an involved relationship with them will help your sons and daughters have the self-confidence to be happy with who they are, instead of who they dream to be. Believe it or not, your children and teens value what you think. Help guide them through the "need to be noticed" culture.

Bryan Greeson, a nationally certified School Psychologist residing in Gastonia, NC, answers your questions. E-Mail him at parentconnection@hotmail.com.