It's all about mom

Two Mountain Area mothers are discovering just what motherhood is all about

By Elizabeth Gabriel

(Updated: Friday, May 09, 2008, 5:53 PM)

Jacqlyn Vetter became the mom of a red-haired newborn boy on April 4, 2008. Melanie Coventry became the mother of a black-haired 11-month-old girl on March 5, 2007.

Vetter and her husband Shaun went to the hospital and came home with Jasper Lewis Vetter. Coventry and her husband Antony, went to China and came home with Lucy Charlotte Chan Coventry.

The Oakhurst moms agreed to share their joys.

Mom and baby Vetter

Vetter, 25, has learned a lot in the last five weeks.

"Sleep is so important," she said as Jasper snuggled on her shoulder, occasionally making quiet, contented sounds. He'd just had a bottle and was beginning to look like a little rag doll, arms and legs relaxed, head lolling on Mom's soft shoulder.

But she's lucky. Jasper sleeps through the night, gets up at 5:30 a.m., and stays up most of the day.

"That was his schedule," Vetter said.

The other things she's learned: Jasper comes first, teamwork is essential and -- the complaint of all parents -- time goes so fast.

"I can't believe how much he's grown in just a few weeks," she said.

The Vetters didn't take many parenting classes or read many books.

"Every child is different, so I don't see how a book can tell you what is supposed to happen," she said. "We're learning as we go, but we look at books for troubleshooting."

She loves her "burrito." In a child class, she and Shaun learned about a swaddling technique.

"It's magic. It quiets him right down. We call it the burrito. Shaun is better at it than I am."

When he quiets down, all the way down into sleep, he smiles, she said, a dreamy smile on her own face.

He got his name because the Vetters like the art of Jasper Johns -- well, sort of.

"We had narrowed it down to Jasper or Logan. When he came out, he looked more like a Jasper," Vetter said.

Mom and baby Coventry

Melanie and Antony are in their 40s and decided adoption was the right thing for them.

"We started the process in 2005," she said, "now, we understand, it can take up to four years."

"Lucy's personality is joyful -- and determined," Coventry said. "Her level of understanding is incredible, but she's not much of a talker."

The worst of the terrible twos seem to be over, so things are easing up.

She used to eat anything, but lately has started picking out anything green.

"I don't know where they get that," Mom said.

Coventry said before the adoption went through, she read extensively about the Chinese adoption process and about Chinese culture, but nothing about parenting.

"I wish I had," she said. "It was the biggest shock of my life. We had no idea how much of a challenge it would be. Parenting is the most selfless and hardest job you could ever take on.

"It's also the best," Coventry said. "When I get home at the end of the day, to see that smiling face waiting for me ..." she trailed off in a reverie. She was talking by cell phone as she drove home from her job in Fresno.

Lucy is entranced by "I Love You Like Crazy Cakes," the story of a Chinese adoption.

"She will pick it up every time from her box of books," Coventry said. "It's her favorite."

One of Lucy's grandmothers, a great-grandmother (who is also an adopted child) and a beloved aunt live in Oakhurst, but recently the family headed for England where Antony's people live. It was during Lucy's April 7 birthday that they had a special evening.

"We went to an upscale Chinese dinner house and she wore traditional dress," Coventry said. "She was the belle of the ball."